Lost, from This Too Shall Pass — *Lost*, from *This Too Shall Pass*

Matthew Finley is a photographer living and working in Los Angeles, California, whose most current work, This Too Shall Pass, explores and analyzes his experience in coming out to his family after growing up in a Christian home and the journey to self-acceptance. In photographing this project, Finley very adeptly employed the use of the short-lived Impossible Project (now Polaroid Originals) round frame film, employing it as a form of looking glass to see into his own past. As stated in his explanation of the work, “There is also completion to this circle, an acceptance of what was, and an understanding that those selves made me who I am today.” The mostly figure studies of this work tell the story of someone looking to identify and illustrate the emotional tug of war of their experience. Ultimately, the success of these images rely heavily on the creative multiple exposures and soft color palette of this film, and provide an excellent example of applying this film process to autobiographical, yet conceptual, imagery.

Before the unfortunate demise of this specific film type, Finley made excellent use of his time with it, creating over 30 unique prints for the collection. During his first major exhibition of this collection at the Museum of Art & History (MOAH), in Lancaster, California, Finley’s instant film works were framed in brilliant white frames, showcasing the entirely of each print, while a larger signature framed piece contained a “proof sheet” grid of another 56 original prints.

In addition to finding out more about Finley’s body of work, This Too Shall Pass, we wanted to have a brief look at an earlier body of work created with the wet plate collodion process to see how it informs and influences his work with instant film, in Laying Flowers At Your Feet. Analog Forever Magazine would like to thank Matthew for his generous time and effort in providing this informative interview. We also encourage you to visit and connect with him on his Website and on Instagram.

Interview

Repress, from This Too Shall Pass — *Repress*, from *This Too Shall Pass*

Michael Kirchoff: Thank you for joining me Matthew, I appreciate the time and thought it takes to share your process and ideas with us. Can you begin by giving us some background on how you started down a path in the visual arts? Was photography always the art form you wanted to work in?

Matthew Finley: Thank you so much Michael, it’s an honor to have this opportunity to chat with you.

In high school I started out wanting to be an actor. Given my more introverted personality, it was not the most logical choice, but as we all know when you’re passionate about something, logic doesn’t always win out. I think that my love for acting was driven by a desire to both express myself and connect with others, which was otherwise a challenge given my shy, quiet way. After studying drama in high school and college, I pursued it as a career. I took a number of wonderful acting classes and did some plays and short films here in Los Angeles but had a challenge auditioning. My anxiety would flare up so bad that the muscles in the back of my neck would lock up. I spent a number of years trying to push through that, not wanting to let go of my dream. I eventually felt that the frustration was outweighing the joy, and it was time to find a new creative expression. Moving behind the camera turned out to be an easy step for me to take, and I realized it provided the layer of separation that I needed. The stress of putting my photography out there was a lot more manageable than the feeling of putting “myself” out there to be judged, as an actor.

MK: Is there another artistic medium that informs your work and process? Music? Theater? Writing?

MF: I would say acting informs my work the most. From the beginning, I have wanted to take photos of people, working with them to create a moment. Whether directing them to capture a feeling or using them as a surrogate for my own emotions, that collaboration to create something is a carry-over from acting that I love. For me, photography is also about expressing emotion and then eliciting emotion from the viewer. Creating that connection with the viewer makes me feel seen in the same way that acting did and, in that way, it gives my work purpose.

I would also say that classical sculpture informs my work. I’m fascinated with the beauty of the human form. Its ability to convey strength, tenderness and desire all at the same time is a fascinating possibility to work with.

MK: Do you find it better to previsualize your images in a mindful way or work more intuitively?

MF: I like to previsualize and come in with a rough shot list but also know that there will be some improvisation during the session. Some shot ideas will work right off the bat while others will need finessing, and a few might not work at all. I definitely set time aside for the spontaneous, and sometimes it’s those images that turn out to be the most interesting or push the work in a new direction. I also try to explain what I am going for at the start of the shooting session and invite the subject to suggest ideas as we go, to get the collaborative energy flowing. If they are invested and excited about the project, the better it will be in all aspects.

MK: What is your primary objective in photography?

MF: To connect with the viewer and affect them in some way; whether that is to move them emotionally, or to make them think in a different way than they have before. Some of my work has been about memory, so I’m asking them to reflect on their own past and examine if they can identify with the questions I am asking and why. Do the images move them emotionally? Why or why not? That’s what I love about art: the give and take between the artist and the viewer and it’s that exchange that I always strive for.

Pray, from This Too Shall Pass — *Pray*, from *This Too Shall Pass*

MK: I often ask people if there is anything from their past that is felt to have had a dramatic influence on how you create images, and you are clearly someone who can answer this question with a great deal of authority. In your statement for This Too Shall Pass, you mention taking a journey from pain to self-acceptance in the creation of this body of work. Can you elaborate on this?

MF: Coming out had a huge impact on the rest of my life, and as far as its impact on how I create images, I think there is an honesty to my work that is important to me. I grew up in a pretty religious Christian household so I was taught that being gay was a ”one way ticket to hell” early on, even before I knew it applied to me. I had spent my young life trying to be a good person but when I started to realize that I might be gay in high school I withdrew even more and set about hiding who I was. The stress and guilt led to bouts of migraines and ulcers in my late teens. When I came out to friends and family at 19, it was generally met with fear, shock, or sadness. While some people got over it rather quickly, my relationship with my family was strained and then nonexistent for a while. As painful and lonely as this time was for me, it was also a great relief to finally be true to myself in all ways.

It was those feelings I wanted to revisit for This Too Shall Pass. As I thought about what I wanted to say, it became clear to me that the pain and loneliness that had had such an impact on that first part of my life was now over 25 years in the past, and only a shadow of what it once was. I could look back from this distance knowing that I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t had those experiences. What I had thought might be an emotionally difficult place to create work from turned out to be one of understanding and appreciation for where my life is now.

MK: Having come out the other side in producing this work in such a cathartic way, do you feel that, at least for you, the early pain and trauma has indeed passed? Have others approached you with similar experiences and found this to help them better respond to their own feelings?

MF: The emotional impact of the pain and trauma has largely passed, due to time, but also to putting in the work. “Time” is a big part of this series since I am looking back at events that happened quite a while ago. While they were impactful moments in my life, they were so long ago that many of the specifics have faded or disappeared altogether. What’s left are cloudy memories and emotional echoes. I can make them out, but they are more intangible than ever. Memory is such a crazy and unreliable thing. I feel like my memory is not great, but maybe that, in a way, has aided me in letting go of my past. I have also tried to be proactive in dealing with things I felt were holding me back. I saw a psychologist for a few years, and I have had personal “light bulb” moments that have helped me understand how holding on to that familial pain and negativity was really only hurting me, and it was something I could take control of and let go.

My showing at the Museum of Art & History, Lancaster, is the first showing of this series and I have had a really good response to it. I was up there the other week with a few friends and there was a group of young people from a local grade school touring the museum and I got to do an impromptu presentation of the work and answer questions, it was great!

MK: Love, hope, desire, loneliness - these are all topics handled in some of your earlier bodies of work created with the wet plate collodion process. How have these topics informed your latest body of work, This Too Shall Pass, and why a change to using Polaroid film?

MF: That is a great observation. I think those specific four things have defined a large part of my life, so they hold a lot of meaning for me. They are themes that I imagine I will continue to explore in work to come.

Of course, the loneliness of being an only child from a broken home, and then a gay child in a religious home has permeated a lot of the series. Using a solitary figure for most of the shots was a start to expressing that. I felt having someone act as a stand-in for me would work for a number of reasons: a younger man would better represent a younger me, I enjoy the collaboration of creating with someone else, and self-portraiture is a challenge with a Polaroid camera.

Empty, from This Too Shall Pass — *Empty*, from *This Too Shall Pass*

“Desire” shows up in the choice to shoot this as a series of nudes. A number of years ago, before I even started shooting fine artwork, I was talking to a friend about struggling with what I should shoot and he told me, “Shoot what excites you, deep in your gut.” It’s a simple idea but for me it was just the wisdom I needed. So, as I explore different themes, I choose to do it with what excites me: the beauty of the human form and often, the male form.

Love has been a driving force for me. To give it, receive it. My parents divorced when I was 3 and I think having a missing parent so early led to me to be hyper aware of the love in my life and to deeply desire a stable romantic relationship.

The series was also created with the simple desire to offer a little hope. To remind someone that they can get through whatever it is they are struggling with, that it is temporary, and that it has a beginning, middle and end. This Too Shall Pass, as they say.

As for shooting this series with Polaroids, the previous owner of the house that my partner and I lived in for four years had been a photographer and had converted the garage into a darkroom/studio. During that time, I was able to practice and create wet-plate collodion photography almost daily, it was great. When we moved, I had no regular access to a darkroom, so it became a practical necessity to look for another process. I love the immediacy of wet-plate as well as the photography-as-object aspect, and both of those are characteristics of Polaroids. Once I learned that Impossible’s I-1 camera allowed me to be more manual, it felt like a real creative possibility. As my project developed, it made more and more sense to use film popularized when I was a kid, plus the fact that they fade a bit over time was a quality that fit well with the theme of memory.

Mother, from This Too Shall Pass — *Mother*, from *This Too Shall Pass*

MK: In This Too Shall Pass, is there one image that stands as a signature photograph or one that speaks loudest?

MF: It’s a challenging choice since they touch on different emotions for me. I will pick Lost since it was created during the first shoot for this project. It’s a solitary and classic pose that I think fits very well in the circle shaped film frame, and the splash of color and almost abstract shapes behind him adds additional visual interest. It’s a double exposure and it’s always fun to see if the viewer can make out what is behind the subject. (Spoiler: they are a pile of small, toy squirt guns.) In conceiving of the shot, I was thinking about how much violence has been committed in the name of religion, and how inundated kids are with violence and the iconography of violence, like guns. At the same time, they are taught how sinful and shameful nudity and their bodies are.

MK: I also wish to show a few examples of some older work from Laying Flowers At Your Feet. So, concerning the making of both ambrotypes and tintypes, do these processes fulfill a need for a more handcrafted approach or is there something more behind it? What is it you like about working in this way?

MF: That series is largely about love and desire and the vulnerability and uncertainty that can accompany them.

I love working in collodion because it has such a timeless quality to it. It forces you to slow way down and embrace imperfections. While you strive to be careful and consistent it is inevitable that flaws will be created: your chemicals will do something strange or you’ll get something on the plate accidentally. You can take the time and resources to reshoot or you can learn to love the plate just as it is. That took a little time for me to embrace but now I view it as a perk of the process, and I felt these qualities complemented the themes of the series. The inherent classic, timeless look of the process also fits well with my esthetic, so I was hooked pretty quickly after my initial workshop to learn it. I only wish I had regular access to a darkroom so I could shoot it more often, but I’m sure I will get back to it in the future.

MK: With the proliferation of digital technology taking over the photography world, there seems to be some pushback from the analog world. We are beginning to see a trend of more and more photographers taking on historical processes and using film. Do you feel this is exactly that, a trend, or that possibly people have a desire to return to the way we used to create work before the pixel took over?

MF: I think the interest in film and historical processes is more of a response to digital being so accessible and common than a short-lived trend. For example, I didn’t start learning to photograph until I was in my late 30s. All my learning has been in workshops and with a photography mentor here in L.A., so I, too, started with the most accessible thing at the time: a digital camera. It wasn’t until after I learned the basics of photography that I realized there was a more tactile, handmade experience that I could be having. I fell in love with “photography as object” and the possibility creating of 1-of-1 work. The fact that there is only one photographic plate that I handled, that was inside my camera and processed, and that once it’s gone, it’s gone. It’s similar to a painting or sculpture that way and that’s a pretty special way to create.

Untitled by Matthew Finley — *Untitled* by Matthew Finley

MK: With regard to creativity and the projects you take on. Do you feel it is better to create work that fits a particular style for yourself, branch out and try new things, or better to simply leave yourself open to possibilities that happen organically?

MF: I have allowed myself a lot of freedom with my fine artwork to follow my heart and see where my ideas take me. I love trying new things and learning new processes. If you take a look at my website there are digital series, wet-plate, Polaroid, and color infrared film. I think you have to do what works for you and for me it’s exploration. That’s one of the greatest things about photography: there are lots of options. As far as style, I have found that no matter the process, I keep turning the camera on people to say something about the human experience. To find similarities in our experiences in hopes of creating connection and understanding. Starting from a personal place so that maybe they will feel the honesty in the work.

MK: Between the sharing of your process in the behind the scenes sections of your website to the workshops and critique groups you engage with, education and sharing seem to be an important part of your aesthetic. How have you seen these efforts further your own work, and do you see these collaborations always being a part of your creative life?

MF: When I first sought to learn how to be a photographer, I was very lucky to start in a class at Creative Photography Workshops taught by Tracey Landworth here in L.A. Over the years, that class has turned into a critique group that still meets regularly and she has become my photo mentor. I am regularly able to take work in and get feedback, and we push each other to do better. That has been a huge help. I am always looking for opportunities to grow and learn. Whether that is assisting workshops at the Los Angeles Center for Photography or participating in a few portfolio reviews a year, it’s so important to me to find out how people are responding to the work. I create my art to communicate on some level with others so doing it in a vacuum does me no good. I need it out in the world for it to fulfill its purpose. While it can be nerve wracking, especially with new work, it’s important for me to get it out there. Thank you, again, for helping me to do that here.

MK: There are so many aspects to what we do in the photographic industry - planning, producing, photographing, processing, framing, marketing, promotion, and so much more. Do you find it better to take on as much of this yourself, or do you usually seek the help and advice of others in getting it all completed to your satisfaction?

MF: I will get feedback from my people where I can, opinions on frames, print quality, and marketing tips. I do my own printing, framing, etc. Doing it all is where I am in my career right now. I do look forward to delegating some of the less creative aspects, like marketing, in the future.

MK: What steps do you pursue in order to find an audience for your photographs?

MF: I submit to group shows, calls for work. I gave a presentation of my work at Open Show LA a few months back. I apply for grants to work with new people, like the grant I got from the City of West Hollywood two years ago. Another very helpful thing I have done is portfolio reviews. Through them I have had the opportunity to meet gallerists who facilitated two solo shows, and museum curators who offered this last show, as well as a number of magazines such as yourself that have been kind enough to feature my work. It would have been difficult for me to get my work in front of so many people without attending reviews. I also keep an email list that I send to and I have a photo community here in L.A. that has been growing and is super supportive.

MK: How do you see your work progressing into the future? Do you have anything new you are currently working on that we should be on the lookout for?

MF: I hope to continue to learn new processes. Who knows where they might lead? But I’m pretty sure whatever process I explore in my future, it will have a personal and emotional theme. I would like to make a book at some point, stage more shows, and work with more museums.

I am currently working on a project inspired by my relationship with my husband. It’s a study of the beauty and intimacy that can be created between two men. Using shadow and physical expression to illustrate the complexity and tenderness of a loving relationship. I considered shooting this with film, but I felt that ultimately it was more important to have the leeway afforded with digital since I was using strobe and would only be able to get my pairs of men together a handful of times. I am wrapping up the shooting phase, then I have to figure out printing, framing, etc. and I hope to take the new work to a review this year.

MK: My thanks to you, Matthew, for sharing your time and experience with us here at Analog Forever Magazine. We wish you continued success in the future with your photography.

MF: Thank you Michael! It has been my pleasure! Thank you for all that you do to support other photographers and for creating this wonderful place for analog lovers. Hopefully I’ll see you again soon, maybe at another photo review!

Gallery

Flesh, from This Too Shall Pass

Falling, from This Too Shall Pass

Home, from This Too Shall Pass

Offering, from This Too Shall Pass

Speak, from This Too Shall Pass

Possibility, from This Too Shall Pass

Strong, from This Too Shall Pass

Nature, from This Too Shall Pass

Acceptance, from This Too Shall Pass

Luster, from This Too Shall Pass

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Michael Kirchoff is a photographic artist, independent curator and juror, and advocate for the photographic arts. He has been a juror for Photolucida’s Critical Mass, and has reviewed portfolios for the Los Angeles Center of Photography’s Exposure Reviews and CENTER’s Review Santa Fe. Michael has been a contributing writer for Lenscratch, Light Leaked, and Don’t Take Pictures magazine. In addition, he spent ten years (2006-2016) on the Board of the American Photographic Artists in Los Angeles (APA/LA), producing artist lectures, as well as business and inspirational events for the community. Currently, he is also Editor-in-Chief at Analog Forever Magazine, Founding Editor for the online photographer interview website, Catalyst: Interviews, and a Contributing Editor for the column, Traverse, at One Twelve Publishing. Previously, Michael spent over four years as Editor at BLUR Magazine. Connect with Michael Kirchoff on his Website and Instagram!